Why didn’t you use me as your Realtor?

I was recently approached by a family member who wanted to apologize for not using me as their Realtor when they sold their house.  I get it.  I really do.  Do you know how many real estate agents I knew before I got into the business, tons. They are everywhere and I know that.  Let me tell you a secret, working with close friends and family is extremely stressful.  I feel more pressure to sell or find a home for my brother or best friend. It’s true.

In my short 2 years as a licensed Realtor I have found a solution, referrals.  Before I went to real estate school, and yes I went to ReeceNichols Real Estate School, I didn’t even know that referrals existed in this industry.  For example:

My best friends are getting a divorce and they need to sell their family home.  Obviously I don’t want to get involved in this transaction for so many different reasons.  There is so much stress, emotions, financial issues, and personal information involved in a normal real estate transaction but would be at an all time high while doing it during a divorce.  In this case I would REFER my friends to a amazing agent that can get the job done for them.  And the bonus is, I get a referral fee from that agent without being involved in the transaction.  Everyone wins.

In my small community in Piper, there are 5,657 real estate agents.  Some good, some not so good, some full time, and some part time.  What I am saying is that there is a lot of competition but we still are all working together for our clients.  The point of this post was to let you know that yes, sometimes it hurts that a friend or member of my family goes with another agent but I understand.  If I can’t help you, at least let me find a great agent that will be a great fit.

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#WYCOStrong

I’ve really struggled this week to keep my emotions in tact and maintain some sort of normalcy.  On Friday, June 15th I was at work and received a breaking news alert on my Apple watch which I automatically checked like normal.  I believe it said something to the effect of two officers shot at Wyandotte County Courthouse, more information to come.  What many people don’t know about Wyandotte County is that as crazy as it sounds, we are a very tight knit community.  I don’t know another community in the Kansas City metro area that has what Wyandotte County has. It’s hard to describe.  Wyandotte County has a bad reputation and a lot of it is deserved but a lot of it is just plain bullshit.  Many of the residents started their families here, and then their families started families and so on and so on.  I guess what I’m trying to say is that everyone knows everybody, or at least knows someone from their family.  We are a community that supports our police and fire departments, our city employees, our neighbors.  It’s not about about republican or democrat, it’s about being a decent person and doing the right thing.


After seeing the breaking news alert I quickly grab my phone in search for more information.  From the little information that I had seen, I was scared.  Real scared.  I have friends and family that work at the courthouse, that work for the sheriff’s office, that work for the Kansas City Kansas Police Department, and  the Kansas City Kansas Fire Department.  All I knew at that point was something bad had happened and multiple people were shot.  After some texts to friends and wives of law enforcement around the city, I was relieved that everyone I knew was safe and accounted for.  But then I lost it.  We, and when I saw we, I mean Wyandotte County, have lost so many great people in the past couple years due to really bad criminals being on the street.  Officer Melton, Detective Lancaster, and Lou Scherzer all were murdered by stupid pieces of trash.  All murdered in our community, in our backyard.  Why does this keep happening!

As a wife of a firefighter, I can honestly say that I don’t get worried about my husband not coming home after his shift.  We get busy with our jobs, with our kids, and with our life and I just honestly don’t ever worry about it.  And then these horrible acts of violence happen and I’m sure Deputy King and Deputy Rohrer’s family expected them to come home that evening.  I’m sure that Detective Lancaster wife and kids expected him home for dinner that evening.  I’m sure that Officer Melton’s girlfriend and kids expected to see him that evening.  I know Lou Scherzer’s fiancée didn’t think that Saturday night was any different than the one before.  So am I a bad person that I don’t get scared every third day that my husband might not come home?  I am asking that question, be honest.

No matter what your spouse does for a living, just imagine waiting by the phone or by the front door waiting for a Chaplin to come.  What kind of life could you lead?  A couple years ago two brave Kansas City Missouri Firefighters went on a call that went horribly wrong and they lost their lives (the fire was deliberately set so it was murder in my opinion). Do you think that Larry Leggio and John Mesh thought they wouldn’t be going back to the station after that routine call!  I bet they did, they were seasoned firefighters.  I don’t want to get into the whole “Our lives are in God hands” discussion because that could go in a whole other direction.

The point is that I’m sad.  I’m angry.  I want the families of these deplorable criminals to know that they are horrible people and they don’t deserve to live.  I actually wish harm on them. Why do bad things happen to good people?  Why couldn’t Antoine Fielder get shot in the head? Why can’t he suffer? Hell, you can’t even put on the news anymore without hearing about horrible people killing innocent people just because.  When did it become acceptable to bully, talk down, and spew hate towards people.  I have to admit that I have gone on rants about President Trump many of times on social media but he makes it too easy.

We need a leader, a role model, a stable person to lead our country and our cities.  We need to stop all this madness and start over.  Our President sucks and I feel like this country is an embarrassment.  I’m embarrassed to be an American right now.  I want our justice system overhaul, I want gun reform, I want children to stay with their parents, I want people to be decent, I want CHANGE.  I don’t want want to ever have to tell my children that their father was killed.  I WANT CHANGE.

I am proud of my city.  I am proud to call Wyandotte County home.  I love how we all come together for the greater good.  I hope that I never have to go to Children’s Mercy Park for a funeral again.  I love how we support our heros.

Next time you think you are having a bad day, just remember, it could be worse.

I don’t want worse, I’ve had enough.

#WYCOStrong

Photo Cred: Caylen Sunderman

Almost Surgery Time

One week from today I will undergo a bilateral mastectomy with axillary lymph node dissection, along with reconstruction. So basically I’m having my breast tissue removed, most or all my lymph nodes on my left side removed, and tissue expanders put in to make room for implants later on down the road. Sounds pretty violent right? All of those things happening and only one night in the hospital. I suppose if all goes well I will have some amazing perky breasts with killer nipple tattoos in a year or two. It really is amazing what they can do with a tattoo gun these days. The tissue expanders will be placed the day of surgery and will be slightly filled and then expanded over the next 8 weeks to my desired size. Very uncomfortable and painful at times from what I hear. My situation is a little different from my mothers and sisters, my cancer had already spread to my lymph nodes so radiation has always been the plan. After meeting with a radiation oncologist at Menorah, he suggested that I plan on doing radiation even if my pathology comes back negative for cancer. So the pathology from my surgery is going to be super important and will determine my next move with the killing of the cancer.  I would rather not do radiation but if will help further my life then I’m all in. Funny little story.  When the radiation oncologist came into the room he started off by saying how sorry he was to hear of my diagnosis. He explained that when my breast surgeon had presented my case at the board meeting, a year earlier before I had cancer, that they didn’t think a mastectomy was in my best interest because my sister and mother were BRCA negative. All the doctors were very surprised when my name popped up in June with a triple positive breast cancer diagnosis. I told him I was still just a little bitter. Okay, maybe a lot bitter. 

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t completely nervous and scared. The thought of having to look at myself after the surgery is what scares me the most. It will take a lot of time and I’m sure I won’t let my husband look at me for at least a year or two, but the shock will eventually go away. Will he still love me? Will I look like an alien in a swimsuit? Can I love myself? Cancer is an emotional roller coaster for me and I don’t expect it to end anytime soon. It has changed me forever. I don’t know if I will ever be the same girl I was before but I will do anything and everything to be a good role model to my girls. I want to to be that amazing wife that husbands brag about (still working on that) and that mom that kids want to be around.  I am very thankful for my family and friends that have been there for me through the last couple months.


So the next week I will be nesting like a fool most likely and trying to gain back a little weight. My taste buds have come back almost completely so I’m enjoying foods that I haven’t had in months. I never thought I would miss salad so much but lettuce was not my friend during chemotherapy. Election night is tomorrow so maybe I’ll treat myself to some steak and potatoes and maybe even a glass of wine (God knows we will all need the wine tomorrow night). I’m looking forward to spending the weekend with my family this weekend before I’m confined to my house for the next couple weeks. 

Another funny story. So my husband and I ran up to Sam’s Club the other day and were approached by one of those people pitching a new product for the holidays. You know what she handed him? A hair straightener. Now if you don’t know my husband, he shaves is head. I didn’t have a wig on either so I was confused on why she would hand us a hair straightener to try. I’m still a little sensitive about the whole hair loss. Some people. 

Infusion #2 (with no hair)

So last week my lovely thick hair started falling out. This was hard watching so I decided to just chop it off. We wanted my girls to be involved so we all went up to my bathroom and my husband started in with the clippers. I have to tell you, I didn’t cry and I thought I’d ball like a baby. The girls thought it was so silly that I was going to have hair like daddy. They were eventually bored with the cutting of the hair and ran off to play. I was so afraid that the girls would have a tough time with the hair loss but they haven’t mentioned it since.  


I’m currently at chemo right now, two infusions down and four more to go. Other good news, the tumor is almost undetectable to the touch. Somethings working!!! I have changed my medications up this week so maybe the taste changes will be better, I can cut out the heartburn, and control the bone pain. 

My mom came with me today to my infusion which is super fun. I warned her that I was just going to watch season 6 of Game of Thrones so I wouldn’t be good company. I heart this show. So addicting. Next on my list is Orange is the New Black. 

Just wanted to thank everyone for the kind messages, gifts, and donations to Mini Adventures. I am continuing to work but more on a part time basis with is working out great. My surgery will be the second week of November so I’m saving all my vacation time for that and some of the radiation. I hope to start working out more this week and get on back with my Pilates. My amazing instructor knows how much I will need my strength to recover from the surgery and I want to be ready. I will need all my strength for my favorite meal of the year, Thanksgiving Dinner. Since my cancer diagnosis I have dropped a ton of weight and I plan on gaining that back with turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy. Everything is better with gravy. 

Love to all. 

Remember to order your Strength Bracelet at this link: 

https://www.stelladot.com/ts/r55i6

Bucket List Update: Not a complete fail

It’s October. It’s the middle of October. Where did the summer go? My bucket list was a great idea but I should have known that it was going to be impossible to finish. I did get most of the kid stuff down but we never made it to one Royals game. I can’t decide if I’m just lazy or way too busy. I think that I have convinced myself that working a full-time job with a one and two-year old is just plain exhausting and that’s my excuse.
My friends with older children tell me it gets better but I believe they are full of it because they are consumed by soccer practice, volleyball games, and football banquets. A little much you think. I believe when I was in the elementary school we played one sport at a time and had practice on a Wednesday and the soccer game was saturday morning sometime between eight and eleven in the morning, and that was it. It is exhausting just thinking about it.
As the winter months are approaching they girls are getting to that fun age where they can play with each other. Reese is running around the house and Maggie is right behind her bugging the crap out of her. Ahh, super fun times at my house. Maybe I cool it with the Bucket Lists and concentrate on the real important tasks at hand, potty training and getting an almost 3-year-old to sleep in her own bed without a screaming fit. I will keep you posted.