Nine Months Without Wine Again

Well, we are pleased to announce that we are expecting our second little munchkin.  I think I found out I was pregnant by the fourth week, very irritating to me for some reason. Have you ever watched one of those I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant shows and just said WTF! I know, I know, every pregnancy is different but I could spot it both times very early.  The reason it irritates me is that I would like to wait until at least 10 weeks to tell everyone but people typically notice when I don’t have a drink.  I am not saying that I’m some drunk but I am known to want to have a glass of wine or two.  And wouldn’t you know it, I buy three cases of wine the week before we find out that I am pregnant!  Awesome.

We are thrilled and cannot wait for our new addition to our family.  My little girl is  14 months now and she will be a big sister at 21 months, scary.  So many fears run through my head when I think of two children under 2 years old, like am I going to sleep, have time to shower, or even go to the bathroom!  I think the bathroom thing scares me the most.  I know that plenty of my girlfriends are alive and kicking with 2 young children, so I know it can be done.  We are very fortunate to have both our families so close so I know that there will be helping hands.

I have a little less than 7 months to go, grrrr.  The first months of pregnancy are always weird.  You usually try to wait to tell people about your news until you can hear a heartbeat or see it with the sonogram, which is around 10-12 weeks.  I don’t think I started showing in my first pregnancy until 5 months so that is strange I think, especially on your first pregnancy.  Looks like we planned this one just great, due in the beginning of August so being very pregnant in the heat of the midwest summer sounds freaking amazing. Do you since my sarcastic voice?  At least I have a pool to keep cool.

All we can ask for is a healthy little boy or girl. We are blessed and excited to share our news with everyone.

Whoores

It has been a couple of months since my last post so I have been determined to set some computer time aside.  This summer has been super busy and very hot here in middle America.  While most people are complaining about the heat, I do leg kicks.  I much rather have the heat than 3 feet of snow in Kansas City.

My little munchkin is growing like a weed.  She literally went from wearing 3 month clothing to wearing 12-18 month clothing in the matter of two months.  Crazy.  I know I say it all the time but that little has changed my life for the better.  After watching the Casey Anthony trial for the past couple of months, I just can’t understand how some people can just treat their children the way they do.  I still believe that Casey killed her daughter one way or the other.  She knows what happened and she got the luckiest break of all time.  It breaks my heart just thinking of that little girl and I only wish that someone could have helped her.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t just think it was only Casey Anthony that knew about the murder of her daughter, her parents are hiding something as well.  That whole family is dysfunctional and should all be put away.  After the verdict was read, my eyes just welled up and I was more angry than sad.  Why is it that our justice system just SUCKS.  If a jury has to decide the fate of this person then I think they need to be the one asking questions as well.  If I was on that jury I would need to sit down with Casey Anthony and get some answers if she wanted me to decide whether she was guilty or not.  If she doesn’t say a word, guilty.  Say something you horrible person.  It just makes me sick.  What goes around, comes around.

It just makes me think about how of MTV showcases teen moms or young moms.  Since when is it cool to get pregnant in highschool?  When I was in high school I never knew of anyone that was pregnant in my school or any other.  Maybe they hide it very well but I am pretty sure that when we were in high school Dave Matthews Band was the coolest thing, not being knocked up.  I just want to scream at these girls on the “16 and Pregnant” and “Teen Mom” shows.  So you date a guy for 2 months, in high school so it’s really not dating, and then get knocked up so you should get married?!!  That sounds like a great idea.  Can you imagine getting married to your first boyfriend in high school?  Holy crap, that just makes me laugh.  My first boyfriend was a great guy, and still is, but I can’t even imagine what kind of person I would be if we would have married at 17 years old, let alone have a baby.

When I was 19 years old I dated the biggest loser EVER.  I really knew how to pick them back then.  He was older, a bartender, and he thought I was the greatest thing since air conditioning.  I thought I was going to be with him forever, I think I even told my parents that I wanted to move in with him and marry him.  I just threw up in my mouth.  My family basically told me straight up that he was a tool and I was never allowed to move in with him.  It took me awhile but I finally realized that he sucked at life and moved on. I am not the same person I was when I was 19 years old.  I grew up so much from the age of 18 to when I was 25.  What if I would have married that guy? I know that it would have ended up in divorce, with or without children.  I am thankful for my friends and family for guiding me through those years.  I think people need to wait to get married.  You aren’t the same person today that you were on your first day of college or even the day you graduated.

Struggling: present participle of strug·gle (Verb)

I think I am struggling to find my place as a new mother, wife, and a friend.  It is amazing how my life has changed over the past 3 years.  Some say that the 9 months of pregnancy prepares you some what for what the future holds with having children and I am now realizing that it is true in certain ways.  I truly have a new respect for working (and non-working) mothers. The LONG 9 months of pregnancy were super boring and pretty lonely for me so I had many nights at home by myself and I find myself in that same boat now.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my little munchkin and would not change a thing but adult interaction is lacking.  And when I say I need adult interaction, I mean people other that the in-laws a couple of houses down and my husband. What most people don’t realize about my husband is that he doesn’t have a typical work schedule like the typical 9-5 worker.  He works 24 hours on, then he will have 48 hours off.  It is just an ongoing cycle.  So holidays and “weekends” vary.  It also doesn’t help that every Saturday he has off from the fire station he bartends at a small little local establishment for what we call “spending money”.  So if he is at the fire station all day and night Friday, Saturday he goes to work at 4pm, and then attempts to sleep in on Sunday.  That weekend is shot for me.

Who wouldn't love my munchkin!

I guess the struggling part is how I can still keep somewhat of a social life and keep the family life in tact.  My life revolves around my husbands shift and I knew that going into the relationship but I have a hard time with it a certain times.  Maybe it is too early to make any rash diagnosis or start therapy.  Also, I have a strong feeling that it might just be the winter blues and when the weather changes, all will be fixed.  I truly think one can go insane spending so much time indoors during the cold of the Kansas winter.

Pregnancy: A Conversation No-No

As I sit here on my couch waiting for my husband to get home, I flipped to the Dr.Phil show on the OWN Network.  It caught my eye because it was about women who are obsessed about getting pregnant. Now when I say obsessed, I mean that is all they talk about and have ruined their marriages because of it.  I now consider pregnancy a touching subject.  A subject that most women would put up there with money, religion, and politics.  Now I am writing this from my point of view but I also see the other side of this issue.

When my husband and I quit trying not to have a baby, I just thought it would happen fast.  I knew that it takes time and you have to do it on certain days and do certain things.  We didn’t do that.  We always said it will happen when it happens.  Then our friends, one by one, starting announcing they were pregnant.  All six of them.  Then it was game on.  It all of a sudden change my feeling towards having a baby.  I want one now.

I guess we should have planned a little better than we did.  We had a trip for Mexico planned in April and we were so excited.  So here comes March 29, 2010 and one of the classic symptoms of pregnancy shows up and I knew right then.  A women knows her body and can just tell when something is different.  After I got home from work that evening I dragged my husband up to our neighborhood bar for one last night of happy hour.  I know that is the smartest thing I have done but it is fine and I “officially” didn’t know anything.  After many beers we came home and my husband couldn’t wait to find out so he runs up to the local Walgreen’s and buys three pregnancy tests.  I try to tell him that you have to take the tests first thing in the morning and the fact that I had some beers that night that the test was not going to work.  Well, all three were positive.  Really?

So we had no problems with getting pregnant, our timing was a little off, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.  I now realize that many couples sometimes have a really hard time trying to conceive.  Or even if they conceive there is a possibility of miscarriage.  I couldn’t even imagine going through something like that.  So before I would ask friends or family, “when are you guys going to have children?”  Now I keep my mouth shut and will congratulate them when it is announced or talk about it when they want to.  Can you imagine trying for years and people coming up to you asking about your plans to have children.  I would scream, “I’m f*%!ing trying, back off!”  I don’t know what I would do if I had to keep trying for years for a child.  It just breaks my heart to think about it.

I never really understood the hardship of trying to conceive or the hardship of carrying a child to term.  I will hug and kiss my daughter everyday because she is a miracle and I know that.  Many people are not as lucky as we are and I am truly grateful everyday for what I have.  We may not have a big mansion, fancy cars, or expensive jewelry but we have our family and that is all I need.

My Love

The Arrival of Maggie Quinn

Introducing Maggie Quinn, born November 22nd, 2010 at 10:27am.  She weighed 6lbs 15oz and measured 19.5 inches long.  Words cannot describe her and the feeling I had when she finally came into this world.

Sleeping Beauty

The experience of child-birth is not what I expected at all.  I think I expected more of what you see on television and in the movies, even though my friends who have had children describe the opposite.  We went in on Sunday evening to be induced but after arriving we were told that labor had already started and we were going to be sent home for the night.  Grrrrrrr.  After some phone calls to the family, my husband and I were just going to stay the night at my parents house because they lived close to the hospital.  My husband was happy because he would be able to sleep in a bed rather than the pull out chair contraption the hospital provided (why wouldn’t a hospital provide something a little more comfortable for the “birth coach”).  The nurse came back in the room to inform us that my doctor had called and over-ruled the decision to send me home and that I was to stay and start the cervidil anyway to speed up the labor process.  Everyone was convinced it would be a long labor and that we would not deliver until the next evening. All I could think of was this was going to be the longest 24 hours of my life.

I am not good with needles and hospitals so this experience is already uncomfortable to me to start.  After unsuccessfully trying to get an IV started on either one of my hands, my nurse gave up and let another girl try.  The whole idea of IV’s is gross to me but that is where the drugs come in so I dealt with it the best I could.  My nurse suggested I take an Ambien to help me sleep, bring it on is all I could think of.  I had never had this “magic little pill” but I have talked to a friend after he had taken it and he was acting as though he was drunk as all hell.  A little scary but at this point, I will take just about anything you give me.

Contractions had started around 1am that morning and they do not feel good at all.  They gave me my first dose of pain meds and that seemed to help to start.  After the first dose of meds everything gets a little blurry so I am going off of what my husband tells me.  The contractions continued to get worse and the medication started wearing off, so a second dose was needed.  My husband told me that the pain medicine made me very loopy and I can only imagine what I said during those couple of hours.  The second dose made me sick and I do remember that feeling, not cool.  I have never been very good with drugs of any kind.  After the vomiting was over they had asked if I wanted the epidural at that point. Really?  I had thought I had made it clear that I wanted an epidural as soon as I could get it.

Ahhhhhh, the epidural.  I would just like to thank whoever invented the epidural, they will be getting a thank you card.  Getting the epidural was not painful but I think it would be if I had to watch the procedure.  After the epidural both my husband and I were excited because we were going to lay down and get some sleep before the festivities the next day.  At this point I was only about 5cm dilated and they(doctors and nurses) were not expecting anything to happen anytime soon.  It was about 7am and my husband asked if he needed to call the rest of the family and the nurse said that not to worry about that now, he could wait until I was 7-8cm dilated.  Okay, so we sleep.

Around 8am the nurse comes in and informs us that it is time to have this baby, I was fully dilated.  What the hell, holy crap, this is really happening.  My doctor had picked this induction date because she had a surgery in the morning, a delivery, and a couple other inductions that day so she would be around.  They only thing was, she wasn’t expecting me to deliver until late afternoon or early evening.  The nurse called her and she was in surgery so I just had to wait.  Um, yeah, I’ll just lay here and wait.  All I could feel was tons of pressure and the need to push but I was told not to push.  Great, what an awkward feeling all around.  Finally the nurse told me it was okay to start pushing and shortly after my doctor came in.  I think I only pushed for 40 minutes but it seemed like it was just a couple of minutes.  And then it happened.

I had told my husband a million times that I didn’t want him to look “down there” during the delivery.  For some reason I thought that if he saw all that he would never want to be intimate with me again.  It is just an uncomfortable position and feeling.  Well, when I started pushing that all went out the window.  He saw everything, he tried to get the doctor to let him catch her as she was delivered.  My doctor told sat me up and told me to look down as she was coming out and I couldn’t do it.  I opened my eyes and saw her coming out and freaked out.  Nothing was wrong, I just was so emotional at that time.  I started crying.  She was the most bea utiful little girl ever.  At that moment I knew my life had changed forever.