I think I am struggling to find my place as a new mother, wife, and a friend. It is amazing how my life has changed over the past 3 years. Some say that the 9 months of pregnancy prepares you some what for what the future holds with having children and I am now realizing that it is true in certain ways. I truly have a new respect for working (and non-working) mothers. The LONG 9 months of pregnancy were super boring and pretty lonely for me so I had many nights at home by myself and I find myself in that same boat now. Don’t get me wrong, I love my little munchkin and would not change a thing but adult interaction is lacking. And when I say I need adult interaction, I mean people other that the in-laws a couple of houses down and my husband. What most people don’t realize about my husband is that he doesn’t have a typical work schedule like the typical 9-5 worker. He works 24 hours on, then he will have 48 hours off. It is just an ongoing cycle. So holidays and “weekends” vary. It also doesn’t help that every Saturday he has off from the fire station he bartends at a small little local establishment for what we call “spending money”. So if he is at the fire station all day and night Friday, Saturday he goes to work at 4pm, and then attempts to sleep in on Sunday. That weekend is shot for me.
I guess the struggling part is how I can still keep somewhat of a social life and keep the family life in tact. My life revolves around my husbands shift and I knew that going into the relationship but I have a hard time with it a certain times. Maybe it is too early to make any rash diagnosis or start therapy. Also, I have a strong feeling that it might just be the winter blues and when the weather changes, all will be fixed. I truly think one can go insane spending so much time indoors during the cold of the Kansas winter.